Hope

Sitting here, listening to the IV machine beeping, as my beautiful Nadia sleeps so peacefully, I am filled with more emotions than my mind can contain. So wonderful, so funny, so sassy, and so sick. She hardly notices and seems annoyed at others who are sad. At three years old she understands that life is meant to be lived. God holds her so close.
We were blessed to have found out so quickly. Wednesday, April 13th, her dentist, of all people, said we should see the doctor and get the blood work done. Our doctor agreed and by Friday evening we were admitted into the Children's Hospital. Wow! This place is awesome! Ed and I were so hopeful that the test would come back negative. We were so sure that with all the prayers for Nadia's healing that God would surely spare her from this pain. At the same time, we knew that if it was positive, that meant God has a HUGE plan for her.
It feels unreal to even say it out loud, my baby has cancer. Even typing it makes me cry. Oh how great heaven will be, but the things of this earth can be gut-wrenching. I never, ever thought that I would be able to say that "I understand" when someone mentions their child has cancer. Yet, thousands of parents say it every day.
The pain that our baby will endure, as her tiny body is forced to kill her cancer and then attempt to flush it out, is something I PRAY SO HARD to be lifted from her. I know she has to walk this path, but Jesus, PLEASE spare her the pain. Give it to me, ten fold, and I will gladly bare it all!
Everything comes down to hope. Hope in God's will to be done, Hope that the journey will bring glory to God, and Hope that Nadia will live through this to tell an amazing story that brings others to Christ. If not that, then it's not worth it. We love you sweet baby, our Nadia Camille. 

Always By Your Side,
Mama